Andrew Collinge is tearing his hair out over a BMW car that has been parked outside his Heswall salon on Telegraph Road…for the past four weeks.

The silver motor with a 56 plate is taking up one of the four parking spaces that would normally be used by Andrew Collinge clients.

The bald fact is that twice British Hairdresser of the Year Andrew's ability to make life as easy as possible for his guests has been cropped by 25% for a month...

Leaving Andrew at the split end of his tether.

"This," he says, "has not been one of the highlights of my career. Perhaps hair-raising fuel prices have forced someone to trim their budget and leave the car on this fringe of private land that has no parking restrictions or charges.

"But in my view this doesn't really wash. Or condition. The parking space is very important to us and our customers."

When asked why the car might be there, Andrew said: "Who knows? Maybe the owners have gone somewhere nice for their holidays. It's parked at an angle, too. They could do with some straighteners."

The police have been informed but, in what is far from a cut and dried case, appear to have not succeeded in making contact with the car's owner.

Does anyone recognise the unloved Vidal saloon?

Or should we call in Sherlocks Holmes?

NB: Whoever approved this piece with so many terrible puns should be given the hair dryer treatment and fired.

It's an act of journalistic barberism.